Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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