Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
