i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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