He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
