dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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