My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
