I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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