i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize