I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
