You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
