I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He passed out mid-signature
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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