SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
