Umm I'm too high to move.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
