I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
