We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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