Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think your dad took our porno
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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