youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
