At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
