you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
