Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
