is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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