There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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