overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
