he thought i was a dude.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
