Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
