If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
