He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
