I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
FUCK WHALES
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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