He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
