You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
