It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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