Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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