it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
