no, he came in my armpit
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
