Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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