Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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