Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
