i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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