Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
