Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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