I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
