all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
