also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
