If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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