i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
