I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
