didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize