I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
