That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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