I want to have your abortion
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
