He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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