I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
