Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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