oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
A+ Viking dick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
