do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
