i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
