That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
