Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
