I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
