watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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