Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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