dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
