Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
