road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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