how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
