bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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