She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
