Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
